Iain & Soleil

Soleil: [00:00:00] Hi Adam,

Adam Manilla: Hey, Soleil.

Soleil: Hi, Jenny,

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Soleil: Hi, Linda.

Linda Melone: How are you, Soleil?

Soleil: Hi, Erika.

Erika Manilla: Hello.

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Soleil: Today on the podcast, I'm joined by my friend Iain. Iain is a flight attendant, and we are going to give you a refreshingly honest take of life. In our twenties. Iain and I actually go way back. We met in school at Gonzaga University where we both had our own unique college experiences that definitely shaped [00:02:00] how we see the world today. So let's start there. Iain, when you think about Gonzaga, what version of yourself do you remember most clearly and like who were you back then?

Iain Hogarty: Oh God. I mean,

what a loaded question. I think

as everyone has always experienced, right? When it comes to stepping into a brand new environment and like just a foreign environment, I think I remember, okay, so I remember it being.

hot on move in day. It was like

Iain Hogarty: 92 degrees, 93 degrees. It was just, and

sure it was smokey too because there was a lot of fires around the time, like we moved in. But

I just remember it being blazing hot. But I was looking around and everything seemed like so vibrant in color, like

brighter in color and everything just felt

very [00:03:00] exciting. Like very new. And thinking back to it like I

was

a naive kid going into college

and

in a negative way, but like in a protect him at all costs, cute little way. Like

was so innocent. He was so unknowing of the world of opportunity that awaited him and the world of opportunity that was provided at Gonzaga on campus. I think for the most part, like I was terrified. But then, you know,

to those little meet and greets and those

little icebreaker events that we had out on the, um, oh my

Soleil: what was the lawn name?

Was it like Foley Lawn? No, that was the,

Iain Hogarty: Think so, 'cause it was

'cause Foley was

library and it was like that turf field right there. And there was all of these events at night and we all had our little freshman shirts on and we're just like,

Soleil: shirts [00:04:00] Yes.

Iain Hogarty: and it was just, it's was super easy. And I mean, you and me were super lucky because I felt like our grades specifically was

such a cool grade.

Like all around, like everyone that we went to school with, like we were just all very tight knit. And I think

the classic, um, understanding of cliques. And finding your group and you know, those classic social backgrounds that are provided in larger public campuses like sororities, fraternities, sports teams, all of that.

I mean, we still had sports teams. There were still some, like you found your friend group, but for the most part, I feel like

different demographic background was able to mesh really well in our grade specifically. So,

long-winded answer, but I just remember being such a nervous little kid and then going to those initial events and being like,

is gonna be the best four years of my life. I,

Soleil: Yeah. [00:05:00] Oh my gosh. I, for some reason I remember those first few days so clearly, and I normally am not, I don't have a good memory. So remembering those like first few days, so clearly is so wild to me. So you'll have to remind me, you grew up in Seattle,

Iain Hogarty: Seattle area. Yeah.

Soleil: Seattle area. Okay. Um, did you know people going into Gonzaga then? Because for listeners, Gonzaga University is in Spokane, Washington,

Iain Hogarty: Yes.

Soleil: Washington Um, but I know a lot of those high schools are like feed or schools into Gonzaga. So did you know anybody

Iain Hogarty: My high school is actually one of the main feeder schools of Gonzaga, so 33 people from my graduating class went to Gonzaga with me. Mm-hmm.

Soleil: Oh

Iain Hogarty: initially

Soleil: initially

Iain Hogarty: initially,

Soleil: Yeah.

Iain Hogarty: but I was like, oh my God, like, and everyone else just come with me, like the 300 other people in my high school grade. I'm like, do you guys wanna come too

at this [00:06:00] rate?

looks like we're all going there.

Soleil: Yeah. Did you, so did you end up like staying friends with all those people? Because like my personal experience right, is I was the only person from my high school. So

Iain Hogarty: Lucky. anybody coming into Gonzaga. So it was like a brand new world for me.

Soleil: I was meeting new people, I had to make brand new friends. But did you maintain like friendships from high school, like looking back on it even to today and like past college even?

Iain Hogarty: I mean,

yes and no. So the thing about me, even when I was in high school is that

I never was

the person. And sure you got that vibe when you met me,

but I was never really that person to just like latch onto one group or like one person. Like I found my people that I could trust more than others.

Like everybody has a best friend. We all get that. but.

I never spent majority of my time just giving all of my attention to [00:07:00] one social group or like one main focus. Um, dating all the way back to elementary school, you know, like,

I was friends with boys, friends with girls, I was friends with the older grades, I was friends with the younger grades and. I mean, I was even friends with the teachers, you know, like I'm not, I never was really, I'm an equal opportunist when it comes to like

to know people, um, and opening up possibility of

all different types of backgrounds of people.

And that's kind of just what brought me joy is

ability to connect with people on a deeper level and not like the same kind of person.

Um, I wouldn't say I was drawn to like this same exact person every single time. I think attributes in a person kind of drew me in,

Like the people who are on reserve and don't really like me. I'm like,

let's dive in.

Let's learn. Why

don't you like [00:08:00] me? What did I do? And then

Soleil: I think that's an Aries trait though. 'cause I do the exact same

Iain Hogarty: that's my advice. But it's also a privilege.

A step further, you know, instead of just allowing that to just shut down. I mean, never,

going above and beyond. Like if they're com, if they're uncomfortable, okay, like, I'm not gonna

press the issue. I'm not gonna But just going further and figuring out, okay, we don't really get along right now, but can we find a connection of some kind?

And then finding that connection and realizing like, oh, we actually do

like each other.

We do fuck with each other. Like

this is,

there are

in every single human being. So.

I think that is what I, I am infatuated with the connection of each individual person. Like we could be completely different,

but under all of those layers there's gonna be something that is very similar between us.

And just being able to find that. [00:09:00] So

I maintained friendships that I had in high school going into Gonzaga, but I think my main focus was to connect with as many people as I could. And not just focusing my attention on the people I already knew.

Like I could see them, I could hang out with them, we could still be friends because of rapport is there.

But that wasn't my main focus. My main focus was on making brand new friends from different

I think I was success,

Soleil: So, okay, so that brings me to two questions for you then. You said at one point that it was certain attribute attributes that might lead you to somebody. What do you think those attributes are for you that lead you to somebody?

Iain Hogarty: Um,

Iain Hogarty: I think, okay, I'm not an innocent person. I'm not a perfect person. But you know, like obviously the first

initial

factor that [00:10:00] you're gonna see when it comes to someone is their physical appearance.

And I would say that

like a gentle face is kind of like a first initiator or seeing a face of someone that looks similar to someone I already know.

Kind of providing that

understanding of like, okay,

I know a person that looks like you. I know a person that acts like you. I know kind of how to navigate this.

you are not that person. You are your own individual person and you identify differently. But

leading into it with that knowledge of how I dealt with said like relatable person in the past I think is kind of what brings me.

And so for you, I think like when I met you at Catherine Monica, you were down the hall from,

my good, good friend Annie. And Annie and I met through mutual friends and Annie lived in Southern California as well. She was not from Washington. I had never met her prior, but

for like a good [00:11:00] year prior to going to college and everyone thought we knew each other for

Our entire lives, like when they met us together. But it's just because like we built that rapport going into college and like we texted and we like learned each other and got to know each other and stuff. So

I met Annie and then you just lived like

what was it? 1, 2, 3, 4.

Yeah. And I remember seeing you and you were just like this tiny little person and me and my sister, we

are are gargantuan, like we are tall people, six foot people.

And for some reason we just have our little people army like 5, 5, 5 and below we're like just our little ankle biters and we're

like, bring 'em in.

We're all like, we love our tiny little

York,

we love our little yorkies and our little chihuahuas. We're like, oh my gosh, we can just look down on you. But you know, it's,

The tale. It's the tale as old as time. And it's not like a [00:12:00] personality thing being like, I'm better than you.

But it's the fact of like,

know,

We see all those videos on social media nowadays where it's like the tall friend and the short friend, like the tall short duo is just perfect. And

like, I don't know, I just saw your tiny smiley face at the end of the hallway and I was like, yeah, I'm gonna get to know this

girl. And I was also highly attracted to your name.

I thought your name was very, very

individualistic,

unique,

different,

and I wanted to learn where it originated from. I wanted to know the story behind it, the story behind your family, how they,

how they grew, like your parents, how they grew to fall in love. And then when they were pregnant with

you, why solei?

You know, like what led to this decision? Like

Iain Hogarty: the spider web of life is what really draws me in because

you can say hi to someone in a bar [00:13:00] and it's like, okay, yeah, we can leave it at that. Or figure out what their story is. What if they're the love of your life? What if they're your future doctor?

You don't know

you actually engage with them.

And that is just like the crazy, that's like my addiction,

100%. I'm like obsessed with learning people. It's just so fun. So that leads me perfectly into my next question then, because I'm just so curious. I wanna dive deeper into. How you became like this, right? Like what's your past that made you so interested in learning about other people? And is there, when you were a kid, were you also so intrigued and trying to figure out other people and, you know, what led you to this place you think?

so my parents were horrified, like they were terrified being my parents because I never met a stranger. You know? Like I wanted to talk to

everyone. And the tale as old as time. Don't take candy from strangers. Don't hop in a stranger's van if they say they have a puppy.

why? I love puppies. You know?

Like I [00:14:00] was that freaking kid because,

don't know, like I just, I loved talking, duh. And then,

mean, I just, I loved knowing as many people as I could, and I wanted to be everyone's friend. And then I wanted to, I mean, now that I'm older, I'm like, okay, I realize I don't actually wanna be everyone's

friend. But

when I was a kid, 100% I think it stems from my parents. So both of my parents are social people, so

is an introverted extrovert, whereas his main focus when it comes to socializing and getting to know people and engaging with a bunch of different people

is turned on at

work when he's home, he's

like quiet, reserved, more of a listener.

My mom is like me.

social, social, social. At home, outside of the home loves talking. We'll talk to every single stranger. If they don't wanna talk to her, she pursues them. So

definitely my [00:15:00] social attributes are more given to me from my mother, but both of my parents are social. So I think that has what

has created a monster in me of just being like overly engaging and overly communicative and

of that.

But I would say definitely my

mom and my mom was like

my, like still is one of my best friends, like growing up and stuff. So I definitely looked up to her in a sense. And just going to school, I was always drawn to females. Um, 'cause I didn't end up

gay male surprise everyone. I am in fact a part of the

quo. I am the LG bt.

But

um, I did not come to terms with my sexuality until.

It was definitely earlier than most, but it was still kind of like,

Iain Hogarty: I think I was 13, it was either seventh or eighth grade

is when I [00:16:00] was like, okay, something's different.

And then I didn't end up actually coming out until either end of freshman or end of sophomore year.

I remember coming out when I was

15, so I've been out since I was 15 years old. So

celebrated a decade of being yay.

I'm like, whoa,

Iain Hogarty: stone h welcome. But um, I, I think the reason I was so drawn to my mom is because my mom was definitely way more protective and

kind of latched onto me 'cause she knew I was gonna be the problem child. She knew I was gonna be the one

like hopping in vans and taking candy from stranger.

Did take candy from a stranger, actually can verify that. But

tell the tale

and you know,

just. Inciting so much fear and concern and worry in my mom. And I think that's what really drew us to be so close is her concern for

me. And then as I got older, me reminding her, I'm okay.

yes, I'm gonna make these fucking bad [00:17:00] choices, but at the end of the day, like, I'm gonna be okay.

And I do hear you, I hear your concerns, I hear your voice concerns. But

um, yeah,

made me

way is definitely my mom and the environment that I was raised in. My family's loud. We talk

we're very passionate people. And I mean, a,

I like to think

we're all therapists and we were always the go-to friends.

Like even my parents, like they are adults and they are the adult friends

the ones that are reached out to first for like good advice and you know,

just guidance and like what to do going forward when it comes to like, confusing things. And

um.

yeah,

we used to call our house the ho GR hotel because if anyone was in trouble or if anyone like needed to come through, or they were just like,

Iain Hogarty: you know, going through Tacoma, like it was where I'm from is the

city. [00:18:00] Um, but Tacoma, Washington, if they were just driving through or flying through, you know,

like, and they had a long layover, we always had a bed available for someone if they needed it, so.

Soleil: Hmm. I love that. I've always wanted, when I think about, you know, my dream life in the future, I always think about having a family like that. You know, someone that, just, like a family just that has an open

you know that allows anybody to come in and feel welcomed and loved and appreciated for who they are.

You know, when they step in into that door, you know, and 'cause it, just so hard. I feel like a lot of people don't get that in life. And so to have that, like you were saying, like, like you feel like your family are all therapists in some way, you know, because of the. What you're able to provide to other people with a listening ear and just to make friends with people. And I definitely recognize that in you at Gonzaga as well. You know, you're definitely someone who is so friendly and is willing to listen and I mean, you're [00:19:00] communications major just like

So Uh, to learn how to communicate and

Iain Hogarty: professionally

I had to do it in a professional, formal manner. I'm like, come on, let them speak. Just let them speak.

Soleil: Exactly. And

Iain Hogarty: No girl. People thought we were

crazy in high school and grade school because our front door was literally unlocked.

locked it. And we're like, yeah, just come in. They're like, why is your door unlocked? And We're

like, do you see the white neighborhood we live in? Like, it's not a lot of

Soleil: Mm-hmm.

Iain Hogarty: like, well not now, but

people start learning that you leave your door unlocked. And I was like, okay, paranoia, you can keep that over there.

We're okay for right now

Soleil: allowed inside the door actually,

Iain Hogarty: Are you insinuating that you're gonna rob us? Yeah,

Soleil: Uhhuh, so you're thinking about it.

Therefore, X, Y, Z.

Iain Hogarty: You don't need to expose yourself.

Soleil: No I love that though. I mean, and, and like I was saying, you know, that's kind of [00:20:00] the, the person that you were in college. Do you think you took that with you after being Gonzaga as well after, you know, you said that you came in as somebody who was so innocent. What do you think changed in you after college that made you feel like you could, you know, you, you look back on your college self and being like, oh, you're so small and innocent, but do you feel like you were after college, political

Iain Hogarty: Topic. Let's talk about it. But I mean, just. We literally graduated. We were the first in-person graduation post pandemic. Like we literally went to school during the pandemic and

leading up to that. I mean, I think we went in innocent in 2017 because we're just like, oh, we're little babies and all of that. And

then like freshman year still kind of felt like an extension of high school a little

bit, and then all of a sudden like sophomore year hits and you're like, okay, there's people under us now. And like they have the same look of innocence that we have lost, and not in like a negative way or anything like that,

but I [00:21:00] think reality started to set in like after a year on campus, we started to realize like, okay,

we have an understanding of where our people are at.

We're no longer living in dorms, we're living in apartments. So like just that little word alone, like the terminology just makes you feel

more established and a little more sophisticated, mature, all of that, whatever word you want to use, but.

And moving to the opposite side of campus too. It's kind of, it was like, I don't know, it's all of these

intrinsic ideas and values that

just made it feel really real that we were going up on the ladder of maturity throughout campus and stuff.

So,

and then junior year hits and we're living in houses and we're fricking working jobs and then we're going abroad and

hits and we,

I think the reason it was the best four years of our lives is because that [00:22:00] independence of when you said goodbye to your families, like on end of moving weekend and

into your niche and trying to like figure out what needs to go where in order for you to be successful in order to get like the best job after graduating, blah.

blah, blah. I

think that is when it really started to sit in that like you're on your own.

And like not in a bad way,

But

are now entering the stage of life where

you can really do whatever you want

and you have to make the necessary choices in order to achieve those end goals that you desire.

And I think like that first day is kind of when it hit, like I was so innocent going into it and I was like, oh my, that's my family.

I'm not gonna be able to

like live without them, blah, blah, blah. And then

you start to meet your tribe. You start to meet your people, you start to find support elsewhere, and you realize that you could have done it all along on your own.

just put too much

into your parents' hands, [00:23:00] into your hometown hero's hands, and

enough

inspiration and designation in your own hands, if that makes sense. Like

the power all along, it just had to awaken in you when you were forced to be on your own.

Iain Hogarty: And I think after college for sure. Oh my God. I mean.

I was on my own in college and then I went abroad and lived by myself for three months in Florence, Italy. And that's like an that, that was like the same feeling all over again because we lived in the pans, which felt like

of felt like you were a freshman all over again because you're in a different environment.

You're in a foreign environment, you're living with a roommate, you know, like you're back

of square one. But

having the understanding of being in a different country made it kind of feel different. And also the age and experience that you already gained from doing it once.

It

kind of felt like a fast [00:24:00] forwarded

way of,

growing up

you knew your roommate, you gotta choose your roommate.

It's not like it was random being

like, Hey and Ian, who are you?

Soleil: roommate?

Iain Hogarty: Do you like the same things I like, you know, like, no fucking shit. You gotta choose who is living with you. It's not like some randomizer being like, oh, we're the same.

So I think after college for sure, all of the experience I took with me, um, I mean now I'm a flight attendant, so obviously I have to like be able to with

social ethnic demographic backgrounds.

Like everyone is different. No one's the same.

being able to connect with each individual and finding those little things that you can connect with in order to build a sense of trust. Because

we're seen as heroes even though we like just hand you a can of Coke or we [00:25:00] freaking hand you a bag of pretzels.

Like

having that sense of trust goes so much further.

I think that's what this is all about, making sure that people trust me because.

them to understand like I present as a six foot,

I guess, almost borderline hunk. Kidding. I mean, I

Soleil: people who are listening to this podcast do not know that

Iain Hogarty: Ooh,

Soleil: if you wanted to be.

Iain Hogarty: okay. Ugh, sorry. No, let me expose myself. Um,

but due the pandemic, I started lifting for five years. So I definitely have built a sense of

aesthetic build. And I'm six feet tall and I'm a white male. You know, I present as your typical predator. Like

I,

present as a white male until I open my mouth.

Like your typical, sorry. Oh my God. Wow. Let, before we get politically crazy, let me specify,

but you know, there's,

I [00:26:00] feel this is statistically proven that there's more women in the world, right? Yeah I think there it's it's like by margin but it's like 51 or 52

Yeah, and it's like 48 person math babe.

but you know, like

before I open my mouth or anything like that, like I don't present as a gay male. So I like to, I guess, build that sense of trust because I'm more drawn to women because I trust them more. And I also think women are smarter than men. Okay.

being a man, let me throw myself under the bus.

think women are smarter than men. And let me

you my reason why.

women have the ability

be vulnerable. They have,

fear when it comes to vulnerability. And to me, vulnerability is power. Because if you show. Signs of vulnerability. You are [00:27:00] willing to admit what scares you, terrifies you, and what.

things you want to work on. I guess like you show what your weaknesses are, you're not hiding them.

You're able to bring them to the surface. Tell the person that

with you in that moment in

time, this is what's going on.

honestly communicate that.

if it's out

the surface, you're able to do the work. You can't do the work until you bring it to the surface. If it's buried so deep, you're not gonna address it.

You're gonna ignore it.

Iain Hogarty: So I think women are stronger than men because they have that sense of educated power and the idea that you have to be vulnerable in order to heal from these

things. Like everybody has trauma. No one's perfect. Like you can't pretend, you cannot sit here.

to these straight men, they're pretending like they've never had trauma in their life.

I'm like, knock it off right now because if you spend five minutes with me, I will create [00:28:00] a list of traumas that you have gone through and you haven't dealt with them because you're just

like, oh, whatever. Took 'em under the rug. like,

bye. But I think women are stronger than men in the fact of

being so confident in their vulnerability, and it's an oxymoron, but I, I stand by it

tenfold. No, and I think that's a hundred percent true. I mean, vulnerability has been seen as a weakness for so long, but we can turn around and say that it's actually stronger to be vulnerable as a man as well, then you gain so much more power from that because you're able to look at your weaknesses.

Soleil: Like, that's, that's the whole point, you know, it's like being vulnerable is saying, I'm gonna look at my weaknesses. What hurts me, what my, what my shadow self looks like and go into. Because once you can figure out those things, then you become stronger from knowing

if you Yeah. it, ignore your weaknesses, then you're never gonna get anywhere. A hundred percent. I agree. I. I could talk about that all day, but I actually do [00:29:00] want to start talking about your career as a flight attendant. Um, so I have some speed questions for you to start off

Iain Hogarty: Knock them out.

Soleil: your favorite city that you've been to?

Iain Hogarty: I mean,

girl, I am loyal to Spokane layover because I am so aware of everything that goes on there. And it's fun to see, like where we went to college changing over all the years. Like I try to pick up at least one Spokane layover each

year. And,

Soleil: you literally just had one didn't

Iain Hogarty: uh, this past weekend I was in Spokane.

last

night, or not last night, night before last night, But

changing.

It's changing every single day. Like I was walking down the street and like, there's not that many homeless people on the streets anymore in Spokane.

when we were there it was like party. Wow That's actually crazy because Spokane has always been you know has a lot of homeless people that's yeah.

Soleil: Spokane's thing Yeah. And I mean, it might have to do with the temperature, like they're probably getting inside and they're going to like probably some more [00:30:00] shelters because it's blazing hot over there. Like when I was there it was 94 degrees.

Iain Hogarty: Too hot.

Too hot. But well,

it

just feels like home. But I think like home, away from home.

But I think favorite girl, come on New York. Like I love going to New York. I love having layovers there.

Iain Hogarty: just like big city living. Um,

and New York is just such a fun layover or Chicago

Chicago.

Good friends from home that I've moved to Chicago, one in particular, Natalia Shadow girl, but um, she is living over there, so every time I get to go over there and I get to hang out with her, it's like super awesome.

And Chicago's just such a fun city.

Iain Hogarty: there's just so much to do and it's just.

it feels like

a younger crowd. It's like young [00:31:00] adults though. Like obviously it's a college city, but it also feels like

like young adult crowd. it doesn't have the sense of like, I'm gonna mind my business like New York does.

You know, like I love New York because you can still find people,

but to me personally, the city of New York feels like I'm gonna do my own thing. I'm gonna keep my head down, mind my business, you know, like if someone

to present as they

cool, no judgment, but like, I'm gonna focus on my inner bubble.

Chicago feels a little more inviting. It still has that sense of big city living, like urban life, but

more. It's

because it's Midwest. You know, like it's like New York plopped in the Midwest, and it's crazy because you're in this big city, but still people are friendly and you're like, I'm confused.

Like, am I supposed to walk with my head down or am I supposed to say hi to everyone that walks past me? So

I think those two are definitely top two, because I love a big city. And then there's little scattered places here and there that I've been to where I'm like, I don't hate [00:32:00] this. I would love to explore this more,

I don't get the opportunity to, I'm not gonna be upset.

Like Omaha, who would've thought Nebraska would've been So cool?

Soleil: Who thought Okay next question Ready Who flirts more passengers or crew

Iain Hogarty: oh God.

Um,

what a good question. Holy crap. I've never actually thought about this. Um, 100% because,

so crew. gossip 100. Oh my God. We are like

high school girls gossiping in the galleys. Like the galley is

where we gossip. But

know, like we'll talk about a cute person that we've seen or anything like that.

But

it's not gonna be outwardly like just going straight up to the person being like, Hey, you're super cute. Like every now and then we'll have a little bit of confidence, like we're having a good day, we feel good. We look at our uniform, we're gonna be like, hell yeah.

is the day I find a husband. [00:33:00] But

I think for the most part,

the passengers just have

much confidence and borderline gall. Like you hop on these planes and you're

like, oh, you had the confidence to say that sometimes majority in a negative way, but it can be in a positive way. And I think some passengers are really freaking flirty because

they're like, I'm never gonna see you again.

And I mean, we kind of have that same mentality, but also. If you work that route regularly, you probably will see them again.

So it's a sense of hesitation being like, okay, I'm at work.

on Vacation.

It's like all balls to the walls, babe. There's nothing to freaking be scared of. Let's just shoot our shot.

So

I've

received a lot of numbers.

plane, A

lot of

flirting with me. Like this guy the other day, ironically, that I say New York is my favorite place, but I was working first class and he was sitting in my first class and [00:34:00] he was like telling me,

he's just like, I went up to him and

I was making him drinks and it was a shorter flight.

It was like a San Diego turn I think, but

we were only in the air for like two hours and it's a pretty quick service, like a pretty short service. Um, and I'm just making him his drinks, you know, back to back to back. This man was drinking. But

he looked at me and he was like,

I just have to say this, but

You look like

someone who would be a bartender at a hot bar serving hot people.

And I'm like, what?

And he is like, you're just really hot. Like you're a really good looking guy.

And I was like, oh, okay.

Soleil: not think of anything else to say.

Iain Hogarty: I was like, oh, okay. And he is like, and you're really talented at making drinks. I'm like, thanks. I'll add it to my resume.

And I'm just like, what do I say to that? And I literally looked at the D who was working with me. So I was the A and that

[00:35:00] there's four flight attendants onboard an aircraft. We work on Boeing 7 37, So

crew of flight attendants is four. Minimum crew of pilots is two.

of planes.

There'll be two pilots obviously, but there's some bigger planes that have like four pilots and so on and so forth.

But

the airline that I work for

operates. Primarily on Boeing 7 37. So there's a minimum crew of four, and the first class flight attendant's called BA, there's the B2C and the D.

So I was the first class flight attendant

and I looked at the other flight attendant who sits up front with me and I'm like.

I tell her, I'm like, this is what

he said.

And she's all like, what?

Like he couldn't think of anything else. Like what kind of compliment is that? And I'm like, I don't know.

Apparently I'm good at making drinks and I should be working at a hot bar in New York. I'm in the wrong direction, you guys.

like, I will be quitting and I will be going to work at a hot

bar [00:36:00] serving hot people. People in Hot New York.

Soleil: In Hot New York. And it's only hot drinks actually.

Iain Hogarty: actually they're only warm. Sorry, we don't have any ice. We actually don't carry any ice in this bar.

Soleil: I, okay. That just sounds like a lot to be honest. I

Iain Hogarty: There's some days when they're just like so wiped out and someone is just trying to be nice and they're flirting and they're really making a solid effort

I cannot hide my facial expressions. So sometimes I'm on the cart and they're just being really flirty and they're like, I'll take this. And I'm like, anything else?

They're like, just flabbergasted. They're like, wait, I thought I was being sweet. I thought I was flirting. I was like, it's literally not you. I actually got two hours of sleep last night. Now I have to be on this five hour plane to go home. Like, it's not you.

is literally me.

Soleil: Okay. What's the wildest thing you think you've ever seen on a plane?

Iain Hogarty: I

mean, I've only been flying for two years, [00:37:00] so it hasn't been

that long. I mean, I hear horror stories from senior mamas that I am like, that's insane.

Um, I think for me,

Well, I have two stories.

is like an over generalized story that any other flight attendant or flight crew person could agree with me on. But going to the laboratory, well just being barefoot on a plane period, but going to the laboratory, barefoot is feral. this one guy had the audacity to come back barefoot to the bathroom and he looks at us and he is like, the ground is.

wet.

And we're like, yeah.

'cause people go in there

and they pee on the floor

because they miss the toilet seat or

washing their hands and they're flicking water everywhere. And it's like, but if you wore shoes that wouldn't affect you now would it?

And he looked at us just like dumbfounded. And me and the other flight attendant were like,

I don't know.

This feels like common sense. I feel like you should know this fact, but for some reason you don't.

Um, [00:38:00] so that's like an overgeneralized one where it's like everybody experiences that, That's

just, it makes your skin crawl.

Um, my personalized story Is, I was working this flight from the east coast,

somewhere in the south.

We will not

the exact location, but it was somewhere in the south. So we get a generalized idea of what this gentleman looked like.

he literally had his shirt over his like man boobs

just

pulled up, sitting in his seat on the plane, beer belly is out and stomach is showing and everything is

showing, and pants were unbuttoned, not unzipped.

And I[00:39:00]

am the only man on the crew. So of course I'm gonna go up to him because

you

know,

Iain Hogarty: certain,

There's certain ideas and certain values in the South where

probably are not respected all of the time. So

going to take my ideological power into my own hands and use my gender to establish authority.

And I had to go up to him and be like,

you have to take your shirt down,

Like pull your shirt And he is like, why? I'm hot.

there are children sitting next to you in front of you and behind you.

I really do not want to contact the authorities and potentially get you on the sex offender registry because you are

exposing yourself in public

the presence of young children.

And he was like huffing and puffing. He is like, Ugh. And he like pulls his shirt down and I'm like,

oh, dear God.[00:40:00]

dear God. Like

thought this was common sense that maybe this isn't normal. We're on a plane, we're not at a beach.

Soleil: Yeah, right. You're on a plane that you're on a whole ass plane. Why are you gonna keep your stomach out

Iain Hogarty: Yeah, and we, the airline that I work for, we are a family friendly airline, so there will be children, there will be babies, and I do not want this to be etched in the back of their brains for the remainder of their lives.

I

Soleil: Aren't all airlines family friendly?

Iain Hogarty: Sure.

Yeah. No shade.

I mean, truly family friendly is my airline. Other airlines not so much, and we won't name, we won't name the stepsisters,

but

Soleil: I, I just feel like there's so much, because we've had conversation about this before when we were meeting up to talk about this

Iain Hogarty: mm-hmm.

Soleil: so much to being a flight attendant. What's like something about the job that you think people really [00:41:00] misunderstand?

Iain Hogarty: I think the training that goes into it, we're not just waitresses and waiters in the sky, like that's not realistic. We are training for every single possible scenario that luckily does not happen often,

I

think

the political climate and everything that's been going on, especially in the aviation industry, it's important to understand that

the reason people have left out of those situations alive is because flight attendants have had the necessary training in order to be prepared and act out solid evacuations when these moments do arise.

And it's important to be thankful that they're so rare, but it's also important to be knowledgeable that these flight attendants will get you out of this plane if it crashes or if it's burning safely.

will make sure you stay alive.

That is why we are on the plane.

Our primary reason is to make sure you stay alive

and it gets buried in the service industry.

Because [00:42:00] we pull out carts and we have to provide a service because

conglomerate America, we have to make money somehow. Right? And providing a service and providing all of this to

is bringing pleasure and bringing money into a company, blah, blah, blah, whatever.

But

I think

this is gonna sound a little twisted, but

everything that has happened with the state of the aviation industry, it's really brought to light how important flight attendants really are.

And I think there's been a lot more respect received as a flight attendant

because people are starting, especially that video of that one Delta flight attendant

evacuating everyone out of an upside down plane.

Soleil: I saw that one. Yes. It was so impressive.

Iain Hogarty: off, she was a badass, like hoisting those people outta that plane. She's like, leave everything,

here, jump, like get out. [00:43:00]

I think that was

terrifying. It was terrifying to watch because you watched a video of how it flipped and then you watched the live video of the person inside the flipped plane evacuating from it.

horrifying bone chilling.

But you see the patience and authority and confidence of the flight attendant

every single person off of that plane. All 80 people left

successfully evacuated. She was probably terrified inside.

She was planning what she was gonna do on her layover. Maybe she was getting home like who knows?

But she was probably shaking in her boots and she had to put on a front for everyone that she was confident and aware and knowledgeable of what she was doing because that is the role that we

play on the plane. We play the role of we are here to protect and to make sure you get from point A to point B

And I think that's a misrepresentation that people have placed on flight attendants.

[00:44:00] like, pilots are just so important. They fly the plane and they land it and they get us here safe. The flight attendants also got you here safe

because there might be things behind the scenes that you didn't know were going on that we were preventing from you ever knowing were going on.

It's, we're like patching up all these holes. We've even do it for pilots too. And I have the confidence to say that I have the utmost confidence to say that because.

and you know, pilots have their appreciation with flight attendants. 'cause we're all one crew, you know, we are all a flight crew and whatever the pilots do, they couldn't do without the flight attendants.

What are the flight attendants do? They couldn't do it without the pilots. So I mean,

I think the main thing though is the misrepresentation of flight attendants being like, we

are,

we're here for primarily for your safety.

And I love it when a pilot emphasizes that and their

little pre-departure speech, they're like

the four flight attendants in the back. There's some of

The best crew you'll have on board, they are primarily here for your safety 'cause that [00:45:00] is the primary.

But yes, we are serving you because we're gonna be on a plane for a long time. It's inhumane to have zero liquids, zero food, onboard an aircraft when we are going to be going for like three hours at a time. So.

I forgot what your question was, but I feel like this answer kind of has to relate to

it. No it definitely did. And uh, yeah, the, I mean, the original question was, like, what do you think people get wrong about being a flight attendant and you, would you say right now that you still feel after two years, that you wanna continue this job into the future?

I think it is a completely rewarding position, and I think it is fun to experience the different places in the world. You know, this job gives me amazing benefits where I can travel around the world and I can stay in hotels for discounted prices, if not free,

I [00:46:00] mean, great health benefits, great insurance, whatever.

You know, like it's a pretty solid job

at the end of the day. I think people also don't understand how physically taxing it can really be on the body. Like over time the constant up and down, up and down, pressurization time zone changes, minimum rests, all of that. Like it really adds up and it really takes a toll on your body and. I don't think people really understand the weight that it holds. And I definitely don't see myself doing this forever.

You

can ask any flight attendant. It's the famous last words. Everyone's like, I don't see myself doing this forever. And then 25 years later, they're still doing it, you know? So

now I can say with confidence that I want to hit the five year mark and I wanna reassess where my life is at, where my health is at, where my desires are at,

and then go from there.

'cause the five year mark is usually when all the flight attendancy, it makes a difference in your airline. [00:47:00] So,

um,

reach that goal first and then reassess. But

as of right now, you having me in this moment, I'm gonna say, no,

don't think I wanna do this forever, because it's known to change their mind on a whim.

So maybe tomorrow I quit. I don't know.

totally possible.

un, but totally possible.

Soleil: Uhhuh. And what's so beautiful too, you know, is that like I've been going through so much like up and ups and downs with just like figuring out what I want to do with my

Iain Hogarty: Mm-hmm.

yeah. Oh my God. Let's talk about you Miss Nomad,

Soleil: well first of all, this podcast is about you, my love. So

Iain Hogarty: but didn't we learn a thing or two about how I don't like it when it's all about me. I wanna learn about other people too. Come on.

Soleil: For listeners, me and Ian have talked about this beforehand, but I've been traveling a lot over the last.

A year now, actually, I left from San Diego a year ago, and I've been traveling back and forth [00:48:00] and you know, I have been traveling just a lot in general over the last four years to really be with my family. That was a really huge priority for me. And part of my family lives in Mexico. Part of my family lives in Colorado, so I've been jumping back and forth between the two countries for basically four years now. Um, and it's been almost necessary to be a nomad of some sort and have a work from home lifestyle, which is amazing because it allows me to do so much that, I mean, not even like you would be able to do Ian, you know, like you're tied to when you're scheduled, you know, you gotta be in Seattle during that time, but I don't really have to be anywhere, which is great. you know, with all of that, being in your twenties, it's like, why don't I ever feel like I am good enough? You know? Why do I always feel like other people have it more together than me? Why do I feel like. Yeah, like people who are meeting their life partners and buying homes, and it's just like such an [00:49:00] aggravating time in your twenties because you don't know what comes next and everybody's at different time periods of their lives and it can just feel so frustrating.

And especially for this last like two weeks for me, for some reason I'm like, Ugh, God, what the fuck am I doing? What comes next? What is going on? so that's kind of just life in our twenties, I feel like. I mean, fuck, we've still got four years to go in our twenties. I keep saying that. I just wanna be in my thirties already.

Like I just wanna have it.

Iain Hogarty: Uh, not too much now.

Not too much. Now, 28?

28 is a weird age that I'm just like super excited for.

I don't know why,

I could not tell you why I'm so excited for 28, but I think

in my lower twenties, lower twenties, [00:50:00] upper teens, like when I was like 18, maybe 20, I was just exci. I set

this,

call it a timeline 'cause that feels very debilitating and

limiting, but

set a sense of a timeline for myself in the fact of I want to find the love of my life in between the years of 28 and

32, and then I wanna start having kids in between 32 and 35. That's interesting.

It just,

Soleil: it about those years

Iain Hogarty: it just feels right. I don't know, Like

a very intuitive person. My mom has also blessed me with that beautiful gift of intuition. And

I'm for the listeners, I'm kind of a freak. I'm

really into astrology and crystals and chakras and psychic abilities and intuition, [00:51:00] blah, blah.

blah. I find myself to be a very clairvoyant person, very intuitive.

And for some, I never really knew it as a kid.

Like I was aware of it and it was weird because I'd have dreams. And then

as I grew up, they started to become a reality and I was like, what is happening?

Iain Hogarty: but just around those years, that random. Grouping just seems so, right?

like 28 to 30. I feel like once you hit the age of 28, you're really getting your shit together.

Like once you're, you're nearing on 30, like you're you're there.

are figuring it

out.

And other people around our age are also getting to that place of just like

living a structured adult life.

You

know, young, like lower to mid

is when you're supposed to just fucking experience the [00:52:00] world.

You're supposed to mess up, you're supposed to make mistakes. You're supposed to have some of what you feel as right now are the best moments of your

life. Like, it can't get better than this. That's what your fricking

twenties are. You're young and you're dumb, and you're just trying to figure it out.

You know, you're thrown into the gauntlet of life

and you're having to navigate it

And you have to make mistakes in order to learn

needs to change going forward.

And I think

28 is when you're starting to near the end of that, and that's when you really start to realize like all of the mistakes, all of the good things, all of the positives, all of the experiences all together that you've had in your life up until that point.

you can firmly say with your chest what you want to remain in your life and what you no longer feel is

making a positive impact on your goals and your aspirations.[00:53:00]

I don't know, 28. It's a cool

number. I also love the number eight. It's one of my favorite numbers, So,

a little, I feel like but

Soleil: is a great, is a great number.

Iain Hogarty: yeah. hard you know, because like you were saying, it can be debilitating to put that that time on yourself. Like, oh, I need to get this done at this. Or I even saying, I want to get this done during this time

Mm-hmm.

Soleil: just has, I mean, you, you still have two years before you turn 28, but in the meantime, you know, like you have no idea what's gonna happen. You don't know where you'll be in the world. You don't know if you'll still be a flight attendant. What comes next? You know, so,

Iain Hogarty: don't even know what's gonna happen next week.

I don't even know what's gonna happen tomorrow. I know it's a holiday, but that's as far as we've gotten.

Soleil: Oh yeah, true. Are you doing anything for the fourth?

Iain Hogarty: Um, Probably

and you know what, know what it's, I'll figure it out. tomorrow. right.

Might have a flight attendant. I'm like, if it's not going on today, I'll, [00:54:00]

I'll figure it out when it happens, which is. Oh, that's great. Well, I am gonna start wrapping it up a little bit here, but I do have a question that hopefully kind of ties us all together. look back at your 18-year-old self that was going to Gonzaga, that was so innocent, you could go back in time him give him a piece of advice, what would you say to him

The trust is good.

You know, I think this is the most cliche line and term that anyone ever hears, like from any wise adult ever. Like, trust your gut. Trust your gut. You know, like

I feel as if it's been overused. So that is what

a sense of insecurity in decision making and this indecisiveness in the younger generations and [00:55:00] everything.

this expected thing to trust your

gut and know that like whatever you're feeling is right,

and then you're like, okay, well I don't wanna make that decision because maybe it's not right. Maybe the other decision is right, why are you telling me what to do? You know, classically, but

I

think trust your gut, my God, like so many of the mistakes that were unnecessary to, I guess. The production of my life. I mean,

I guess every mistake has led us to where we are and every positive has led us to where we are, but.

you know, there's some mistakes that didn't have to happen. There's some mistakes that could have been avoided if you just trusted your gut. And

just knowing,

just trusting yourself as an individual, uh, like knowing that you know what is best for you

and telling him that like,

your life is gonna be fun as

hell. It is gonna be fun as hell. It is gonna be a movie. But

no, uh, I mean, just

knowing that wherever you end up, you're gonna be [00:56:00] fine. You're gonna make it work.

You know, there's

this fear of, like you said, what you mentioned earlier,

there's this sense of comparison with other people our age and seeing their successes and seeing their lives, having kids, getting married, moving into houses, moving to different places.

Iain Hogarty: That comparison is the biggest poison in the entire universe. And I am a firm believer on that

because you have to live your life for you. You have to be comfortable with you. And once you do that, all of those things that you're gawing over and aspiring to have as your own

to you naturally.

And I found that to be the truth as I've grown

up. When you focus on yourself and you just live proud in who you are and what you're doing, and whatever job you may be holding, if you're unemployed, if fucking cares?

you are you. You are the only you, and you need to be confident in [00:57:00] that sense of individuality that makes you different from other people

for whatever you know, those people that you're gawing over are gawing over you in return.

And I. That's the circle of life, babe.

People will see you. They will want what you have. You will want what they have. But as long as you're comfortable in what you have internally for yourself and you're not living in this comparison circle,

no one can touch

you. Nobody can touch you.

And I think

especially at 18 years old, you're so fresh and so naive, as I previously mentioned, just to the realities of the world and

having that understanding of like just doing your best,

up in the best way you can,

in the

best

time and possible place, and

leaning into those things that are making you uncomfortable, where your gut is having a reaction and leaning into it, and

then being [00:58:00] able to like make that decision of what your gut feeling is with confidence.

I mean, just making that initial decision. You'll have more confidence as you continue to do it, but

I don't know, I think.

Just fucking live your life.

You know, don't, don't live in comparison. It,

not that important.

The people that you think care that much, they don't care.

The people that you think don't care, they do care.

it,

all you have is yourself at the end of the day.

And if you're proud of that,

you're gonna fucking kill it.

People are gonna be jealous of you.

They're gonna envy your life.

That's not the point. Kids,

You don't want people to be jealous. You don't want people to envy your life.

better than this.

But you know what? At the end of the day, like the people that

you drawn to are the ones who live their lives with individual confidence in themselves And their life. I mean, girl, look at

you. You're doing it.

And this is why I picked you up to do [00:59:00] this because you're a legend. That it's just that idea of like

and borderline a little bit of cockiness.

Keep it small kids,

you don't want too much cockiness, but you do wanna have a sense of knowing that you're the shit, you know, knowing that you can do whatever you put your

heart, heart's des desire into. So

that's what I wanna leave you with,

because I think the Triple Cs, they're life changing.

Soleil: What did you say?

Confidence

Iain Hogarty: Courage,

confidence, courage and cockiness.

Soleil: Love it. Well, that is just a little

Iain Hogarty: Just a little, the last one. Just a little. Not too much now.

Soleil: Well, then I think that's a good manifestation for everybody listening to the podcast into their next week is, gosh, I already forgot it.

Courage, confidence, and cockiness. Cockiness. But just a little bit.

Iain Hogarty: And you know what, [01:00:00] if someone is being too cocky, bring back bullying. You know, like

don't let them go too crazy. Firm believers on that.

Put people in their place if they're acting up, if they're doing too much cockiness, we're gonna say 2%.

Okay.

courage and the confidence, we're gonna keep that at 98%.

So 44 of each.

Ooh, math's hard. Hold on.

Sorry. Hold on, on. Oh my God, because that's 88. God damn. Um, no, that would be 49. 49

two. Here we go. 49 49. Two person cockiness.

know what?

You gotta live this world. A little selfish in order to get outta life.

Soleil: Why does 49 49 2 still seem wrong? In my head?

Iain Hogarty: No. 'cause 49 and 49 is 98. [01:01:00]

Soleil: it 98? I'm so bad at math. This is why we were communication majors.

Iain Hogarty: I was fire at math in high school. Okay. No disrespect, but since I haven't been using it, I haven't been using it as frequently, so obviously it's gone downhill a little bit. But yes, 49, 49, 2.

What we're running with folks.

Soleil: Well, thank you so much for joining me, Ian. It was just so wonderful hearing about who you are and the life you're living, being in your twenties and just talking with you about

Iain Hogarty: jumbled Reality.

Soleil: We

Iain Hogarty: no.

Soleil: We love it. And that's, you know, that's my favorite thing about this podcast is I get to talk to people about the depths of who they are.

so I'm really

Iain Hogarty: Mm-hmm.

Soleil: that you came onto the podcast

Iain Hogarty: Well, thank you so much for having me.

Soleil: course. Of course. Well, maybe there's another one in the future if you enjoyed it.

Iain Hogarty: Maybe folks leave your likes in the comments.

Let us know what you,

and

we will

try [01:02:00] our best in the next one.

Speaker 4: Thank you again for listening to this episode of Sweat Strategy and Success. If you enjoyed this episode, please make sure to follow on your favorite podcast listening platform, give it a rating and share with your friends and family. Make sure to make it back here next Wednesday. See you soon.